please hear me out

My excuse was that I had a very high fever, well over 103, for the entirety of Sunday, and while recovering Monday as well.

have to keep going

I'm mostly free of symptoms as of Tuesday, which is good. I'm back at the office, and for whatever reason, I feel generally pretty happy. Maybe it's because of how much sleep I've managed to get, because I really was bedridden for the last couple of days.

As for an update on the things I scheduled to do, technically speaking, I guess I didn't eat reasonably because I didn't eat at all. I actually just straight up didn't have any appetite, so I didn't eat for like 48 hours. And then after that, I did eat reasonably, if anything, like, healthily, below 2K calories. I think my personal hygiene slipped for one day when I was fully bedridden. I guess most of that ties to like, time of day signal, and to be honest, my internal clock is cooked. I have no clue what time of day it is right now. I mean, right now, it feels like noon, um, but I look to the top right of my screen and it says 8:23 a.m.

It's a bit of an interesting reflection. I remember, like, on Saturday, or maybe it was Friday, I forget. No, it was Saturday. Yeah, it was Saturday. Um, when I wrote, like, I had to do those things, I thought it was pretty funny because it really did feel binding. Like, I don't know why. I guess it's like because there was an external factor being attached to it. Like, I had to do it. Like, no matter what I did, it was like very concrete and top of mind. Like, I was not allowed to forget about it. And it was just, it was a very interesting feeling. It wasn't like a high amount of pressure, but it was like, it was like solid pressure, not solid as in like a solid amount, but I guess it's hard to describe. It was basically a non-negotiable, which is very interesting. Compared to all the times I tried before, you know, just to make things easier, you know, the classic things, I never felt that compelled to do things. But I do today, which is funny.

for today

For today I think I will continue the trend of eating reasonably, being complete with my personal hygiene, I also need to finish my weekend chores that I did not do given I was knocked out on Sunday. I also need to get some cardio in. My mind is taking health more seriously after what I went through with that illness. I think that should complete my day, along with the splash of building and learning. I think my focus on learning today should be related to system design interviews. I had one previously and I got cooked! All of my knowledge was in reviewing AI code, that generating my own solutions, even at a high level was basically impossible... Embarassing.

last note

One more thing, I think I need to make a few improvements to this website:

1. Turning my list of things I'm adding accountability on into an actual list, not lost in a paragraph, for readability.
2. Fixing my writing, I might dump the dictations somewhere, but for a better reading experience I really need to clean things up, not hide it behind the excuse of rawness and authenticity.

But in classic procrastination fashion, I will do these sometime later, the workday is starting!